


Seven Days In May

by CobaltStargazer



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, Infidelity, Marriage, Regret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-04 08:22:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3040934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CobaltStargazer/pseuds/CobaltStargazer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's always the quiet ones. Especially when the quiet ones have regrets that they can't shake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if Aaron and Alex are going to fly yet, but I'm willing to play the odds, and he won the coin toss. This will either be perfection or utter blasphemy. Pray for me. :-)

Alex was surprised, but pleased, when Aaron Hotchner gave her a call from Quantico and asked her to consult on a case. She'd stayed in touch with her former co-workers since her resignation, particularly David and Spencer, and she kept meaning to make the trip to see everyone, but between her teaching schedule and working on tenure, she hadn't been able to find the time yet. So if nothing else, it would be nice to see a familiar face.

And when she was honest with herself, which she usually tried to be these days, she was restless and more than a little bored. She loved teaching, and having to stay a step or two ahead of Harvard's best and brightest was challenging, but in her honest moments she missed the added challenge of trying to outwit the devious brains of even the average UnSub. She felt guilty about it, because hadn't she quit the Bureau and come to Boston so that she and James could be a real couple again, an actual husband and wife? Yes, she had. And yet.

Not that they were fighting, because they weren't. But maybe one of the reasons their long-distance marriage had worked was because the separation had given them things to talk about, even if it was only over Skype. Now that they were living in the same city again, in the same house, the silences between them weren't always comfortable. Sleeping in her own bed every night had its perks, Alex could admit that, but being a couple again wasn't entirely working out the way she'd thought it would.

"Aaron. It's good to see you."

Hotch had arranged to meet his former colleague on campus for the sake of convenience, and he squinted against the glare of the late-afternoon sun when he removed his sunglasses. He had the relevant information in the briefcase he carried. He'd left the case file back in the office, and it was slightly irregular to bring the matter to a non-agent. Alex's resignation had been official for long enough that his superiors would look askance at civilians being involved in the Bureau's work, but the BAU did occasionally use private sources in its investigations. The linguist's reputation lingered in her wake even though she'd turned in her credentials, and he'd asked her for a favor.

Besides, getting out of town since the break-up with Beth gave him some much-needed time to gather his thoughts, do some reflecting. They'd parted amicably, and Aaron hadn't expected the relationship to last as long as it had. But now that it was over, he wanted to take a step back, assess things. "It's good to see you too, Alex," he said with a reserved smile. "I'm glad you could make time for me."

"Anything for a friend."

They walked across the quad together, his tall frame making her look even shorter, and she said, "How is everyone doing? I haven't been able to be in touch as often as I'd like. We're in the middle of midterms, so I'm having to scramble a little to keep up." 

He nodded, having tucked his hands into his pockets after putting his sunglasses back on. The day was bright and warm around them. "The team's been busy. It seems like whenever we put out one fire, another springs up in its place." The hard sole of his shoe gritted across some loose dirt, and Aaron added, "Other than that, things have been pretty quiet. Although Reid's apparently found a way to have a life outside of work." He looked at her sideways, his eyes hidden by the dark lenses. "He probably mentioned it to you."

Alex made a diplomatic noise, buried the smile by turning her attention towards the building where her office was. "He did mention it, but only in passing. I think he was afraid of jinxing it, so I didn't press." Which reminded her, she should give Spencer a call soon.

The taller of the pair shook his head, his mouth tucking in at the corners to prevent a smile of his own. He knew how difficult it was to balance a career with having a personal life, and he didn't begrudge the younger profiler what happiness he'd managed to find. "And yourself?" he queried once they'd reached Alex's building. He held the door open for her, and their shoes made noise on the tiles as they made their way down the hall. "How is life on the other side of the gate?"

And she couldn't tell him, not really. That she felt dissatisfied with things now, that although she'd thought at the time that she was right to walk away, in retrospect she had regrets. She'd worked long and hard to regain a place at the BAU, had wanted to prove that she was still worthy. She loved teaching, and she really enjoyed being with her husband. But something was missing, and she didn't know what it was.

Erin would have gotten it, would have understood. That was one of Alex's regrets, and the sharpest of the lot, that she hadn't put aside her anger and resentment before it was too late. The blonde's death had been long ago enough that the immediate sting had been drawn from it, but the regret...the regret lingered.

"Alex?"

Aaron was looking at the brunette, who had fallen into a reverie, and the linguist shook herself a little. "I'm sorry, I was wool-gathering," she said with a self-conscious laugh. They'd reached her office door, which she'd left unlocked, and she turned the handle. In the smaller confines, Hotch looked at the diplomas on her wall, the tidy desk, the shelves aligned with the wall. There was a picture of James and Alex on the corner of the desk. He studied her more closely, a slight frown-line appearing between his eyebrows. He'd taken the sunglasses off, put them in his jacket pocket. The slight crease disappeared. If she wanted to talk, she would.

"Will you have enough time to look this over?" he asked, putting the briefcase on the opposite corner of the desk. "I should have asked about your schedule when we spoke before. If you're in the midst of preparing or giving exams, will it be much of an inconvenience to do this? I wouldn't want to distract you from your real work."

Alex stifled the urge to say that she welcomed the idea of a distraction, opting to just shake her head. She may have been a civilian now, but she still knew her way around a translation. "It's fine," she said. "I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't have time, or couldn't _make_ time." The latches on the case made a noise as he opened it, and he pulled out a plain envelope. It crinkled quietly as she accepted it.

"How much of a rush are you in?" she asked, and his shoulders lifted in a slight shrug. "It actually isn't an active case," he clarified. "I found it while going through some old files, decided to take a closer look. If it _does_ become pressing, I won't take up much of your time. But I do appreciate your offer of help."

The linguist was distracted, shuffling through the papers Hotch had given her, but she looked up when he said it wasn't a priority, and the silence held for a few seconds. Aaron was a private man, and Alex respected the need for circumspect behavior in a close environment like the BAU. Though she no longer worked for the Bureau, old habits died hard. After a minute, she inclined her head, a silent acknowledgement. 

"I take it you'll be staying in town?"

"Yes, I've made arrangements." He reached into his dark suit jacket, pulled out a slip of notebook paper. "I can be reached at that number, or on my cell if that's easier for you." Alex plucked it from his fingers, tucked it out of sight beneath her desk blotter. There was another silence, and she reflected that Hotch's suit looked even sharper than normal. Maybe it was the lack of exposure to his sartorial style, but perhaps not.

"It really is good to see you, Aaron," she said with a warm smile, and he smiled back, softening the sharp angles of his face. "You should come to dinner some night. James would like to see another slightly familiar face, I'm sure."

"I might do that," he said with a nod. "The hotel where I'm staying has a decent restaurant, but it might be better to have some company over dinner. I've heard it helps with digestion."

The linguist chuckled, and Aaron looked at his watch. "Well, I'll leave you to...whatever," he said, gesturing at the notes Alex had stacked next to her blotter. He was a little tired, wanted to doze before eating. Garcia had instructions to contact him if anything urgent came up. Not that the monsters ever really rested, but they did at least hibernate now and then.

"We'll speak soon," he said, and she reclaimed her desk chair as he stepped past the threshold of the office. "And Alex? Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Alex was wrapping up a class when she saw Aaron step in from the hallway, then move up the stairs to the rear of the hall. She gave him a nod of acknowledgement, then did a quick double-take. Was that the first time she'd seen him in something other than a suit and tie? Maybe those were his weekend clothes.

"I know it's crunch time for most of you, and that this is your first year," she said. "But I'm glad you've stayed the course, no pun intended." There was muted laughter amid the sound of possessions being gathered, and the brunette smiled when one of the students walked past her with a, "Have a good afternoon, Professor Blake." It had always been her policy to only begin correcting them once they were sophomores.

Hotch had tucked his hands into his pockets as he aligned his back with the dark wood paneling, and he reflected that Alex looked good. Calm and relaxed, as if being out of the field had taken the weight off of her. He'd put on jeans and a black polo shirt when he'd left his hotel room that morning, then done some wandering. Seeing Boston on foot was much different than seeing it through the window on an SUV while the team worked a case.

"Professor Blake?"

Her smile widened a notch, and she turned back towards her cluttered desk. She had a second desk in her office, a larger one. Having an office of her own again was a perk she'd forgotten about. "I'll correct her next year, provided she doesn't change her major." Papers rustled, making noise as she stacked them. She had a soft leather briefcase next to the desk. James had given it to her before this year's classes had started. When Aaron came closer, she noted out of the corner of her eye that even his jeans looked ironed.

"Having a casual day?"

He smiled at his former co-worker's profile, one hip coming to rest against the solid wood of the desk. "I decided not to continue the tradition of hovering in the back of the room in uniform." 

That made her chuckle, and she tucked some notes into her valise. "I haven't had time to work on..."

"No, I didn't think you would have," Aaron said, shaking his head. The last of the students had filed out while they talked, and footsteps still echoed in the hall. "I found myself at loose ends, and was hoping that you'd have time for lunch. Unless you've got another class after this one?" His watch had a plain black wristband, and the overhead light glinted off of the silver face as he looked at it. It was twelve after two. "I can always leave you to it."

"No, actually, my next class isn't until late this afternoon," the brunette replied, zipping the case. "Did you have something in mind?"

"If you like, we could go to the Commons," he said, tipping his head in the direction of the hallway. "My treat."

"I like the sound of a free lunch," Alex said, and Aaron waited for her outside of her office as she checked her messages. It had been a long time since he'd been on a college campus without the visit being because of official reasons. Two students passed by as he hovered beyond the threshold, and one of them gave him a curious look as she moved past. He was looking at his cell phone and didn't notice.

"Should we take my car?" she asked as she locked up behind her. "If you'd like. I know the area well enough, so it doesn't really matter."

They ended up taking her vehicle from the half-full parking lot, and as Aaron clicked his seat belt into place, he asked, "So you're settling in? I know you taught when you were still with the unit, but is it different now that you've left the Bureau again?"

Alex made a noncommittal noise, but her expression shifted. She should have known that skirting Hotch's question the day before would mean that he'd just ask again. And maybe here in the privacy of the car, it was safe to talk about it. Aaron was a neutral party, that meant he'd be impartial.

"It's been an adjustment," she said as they left the parking lot behind. "It took a while to get used to the phone not ringing before dawn, but I've gotten acclimated." Traffic was sparse because of the hour, and the linguist pulled down the visor on her side to keep the sun out of her eyes. "Getting back into the swing of teaching was easier, probably because I never entirely gave it up. James was really supportive while I tried to find my feet."

The male half of the pair nodded, but privately he thought the words sounded a little pat, a little rehearsed. It reminded him of when his own marriage became strained, and he looked at her in profile, wondering what she wasn't saying. There'd been a lot _he_ hadn't said at that point in his life. His dark eyes were serious, even a little grave, as the silence held.

She could feel him watching her. Subdued, introspective , _observant_ Aaron, who had a divorce under his belt and a son he was raising by himself. The car reached a red light, and Alex turned to look at her passenger. His eyebrows went up a notch, and a little against her will, the corners of her mouth twitched upwards.

"You don't have to tell me," he said, and the briefest shadow flickered across her face and disappeared. Because she _wanted_ to tell him, to tell someone who'd been married and could probably relate. The light turned green, and she faced the road again, clearing her throat.

"It's been tough," she admitted as the car trip continued. "James _has_ been supportive, and I guess that's why I feel as if I can't tell him that..."

Beside her, Aaron was quiet but attentive. In the years since Haley's death, he'd often felt that if he'd listened more often, his marriage might not have imploded. Like him, Alex was quiet and liked to keep things private. But didn't silent waters usually run deep? When the pause lasted for just a bit too long, he asked, "Can't tell him what?"

"That it isn't working out. Not really."

It was the first time she'd fully articulated it, although she'd come close with Reid after Erin died. If she was conflating how she felt now with how she'd felt then, and she knew that her regrets had followed her to Boston, maybe she should try harder to explain her feelings to her husband. But James was just trying so hard to make this new start work that she didn't know how. He'd always been the one to make sacrifices for their relationship in the past, and now it was supposed to be her turn. She loved him enough to want to work on it. But should it have to be work?

"Before Haley left me," Aaron said, and he was facing away from her now, looking through the passenger window as scenery flowed past, "we had argued about my dedication to the job. She said that it isn't who I am but what I did. When I came home from a case, she was gone. We were amicable when she..."

"I didn't mean to bring up anything unpleasant, Aaron."

"No," he said, and he was still shaking his head when he turned to face her. "I realized that I made mistakes. I didn't listen enough, wasn't as accommodating as I could have been, any number of things. But she changed, and I didn't know how to handle it other than to make a compromise that I didn't really want to make. I would have been content in the White Collar division, could have worked a desk for the rest of my career and then retired to either write or just be with my family. But what I wanted to do was remain with the BAU. I also wanted my marriage to work, and when she filed for divorce I agreed to it because I didn't want to hurt her, hurt Jack, anymore than I already had. I was not the best husband, and now I'm trying to be the best father I can be."

Alex was frowning as she watched the road, ruminating on what he'd said. "Is that what you think I'm doing, compromising when I don't want to?" It felt like she was supposed to be annoyed, but she was reflecting back on the last few months, and realizing that, if anything, she was relieved. He'd put it into words for her, but maybe the sentiment had been there before she was ready to acknowledge it.

He felt a little embarrassed having said so much, and he looked away. "That's not for me to say. But if you want advice, I think you should talk to James. He might already know that something's wrong."

The linguist's expression blanked for an instant, and she cast her mind back farther in time. There _were_ things that James didn't know, hadn't even suspected, and she wasn't going to tell Aaron about them now. She wasn't ready to confide that much.

When can you come to dinner?" she asked, changing the subject. Aaron decided not to bring the former topic up. Marriage was complicated, and when he hadn't even been able to keep his together, who was he to counsel his former co-worker? He looked at Alex in profile, noticed the way the sun accentuated her cheekbones, and it crossed his mind again that she looked good. It was the whisper of a thought, and he might have even noticed it before, so he didn't dwell on it.

"Tomorrow night? You mentioned that you have more classes today, so I should probably let you have more time to get ready for guests. Even semi-familiar ones."

She chuckled, and the momentary tension evaporated. "If nothing else, it'll be a break from the food you usually get when you travel, I'm sure."

Aaron actually laughed, and when she looked in his direction the corners of his eyes were crinkled with amusement. He'd so seldom smiled in her presence when she'd been with the Bureau that she was startled to realize, realize _consciously_ , that Aaron Hotchner was an attractive man. Her expression blanked again, and she looked back at the road before he could make note of it.

"Should I bring anything?"

There was a wine store down the street from his hotel, and Aaron's old-fashioned upbringing wouldn't allow him to not at least ask.

"If you'd like, but it isn't necessary," Alex answered. "We got more than a few bottles of wine when we arrived from some of my new colleagues, and they've lasted us quite a while."

It was, she reflected, good to see someone from Quantico, and James would likely be glad to know that she was still in touch with some of them. The brief frisson she'd experienced was already brushed aside. However susceptible she might have been, it took more than looks to draw her in.


End file.
